The Butcher And The Princess

Facebook

2010-01-12T01:22:00.001-08:00

Snails

2009-12-06T18:29:00.001-08:00

Performed at SIN Bar in Berlin, Germany

People Who Murder Insignificant People

2009-09-06T04:05:00.001-07:00

Some like to murder insignificant people
Some like to murder insignificant people with a chain saw
Some like to murder insignificant people with a ham sandwich
Some like to murder insignificant people first thing in the morning
Some like to murder insignificant people only after washing their hands
Some like to murder insignificant people in public toilets
Some like to murder insignificant people in the comfort of their own living room
Some like to murder insignificant people on the telephone
Some like to murder insignificant people with one eye open
Some like to murder insignificant people with both eyes shut
Some like to murder insignificant people with stacks of paper work
Some like to murder insignificant people on drugs
Some like to murder insignificant people with their silence
Some like to murder insignificant people with their noise
Some like to murder insignificant people with pie charts
Some like to murder insignificant people with their memory
Some like to murder insignificant people with their plans for the future
Some like to murder insignificant people with bargains
Some like to murder insignificant people with employment
Some like to murder insignificant people with neglect
Some like to murder insignificant people
Some like to murder insignificant people
Some like to murder insignificant people
And the others?
Are insignificant.

The Internet Explains How To Kill Yourself

2009-02-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

(Author's Note: The following poem is composed entirely from edited Google Search Text for the keywords "how to kill yourself")

If you've been a little depressed
lately contemplated partaking in
the bliss of death
here are some suggestions

Passing out while you
try to kill yourself
is like failing
at failing You're

the one who has
to deal with the
embarrassment
of having the paramedics

So I won't talk
about details like that
because I assume
that if you have

the intention to
kill yourself
you've thought about
a lot of these complex

Four Pillars
suicide abortion
cannibalism sodomy
I have an answer to this question

but I don't want to help you
kill yourself
or help you help somebody
kill themselves

Fine

but before you
kill yourself
there are some things
you should know

I am a psychiatric nurse
and I see the results
of suicide
it works

There are so many ways to
kill yourself
without taking a
razor to your wrist

or tightening
the noose around
your neck The secret
beauty lies in

the best way to kill yourself when your under 13
is to stand on top
of a building
hollering

i swear to god
Im gonna jump, this is me
killin myself with my
Free Bird

First off,
let me just say that I do not
recommend killing yourself
with a handgun

I won’t argue with you
you should kill yourself
I assume that if you are thinking about it
you feel pretty bad

Play Five Minutes of to Kill Yourself
a free online flash game
Don't be bored be
dead

What if
you want to
kill yourself
?

You should Never
you should talk about
If you feel depressed and hopeless
commit Suicide

how to kill yourself with zoloft D
how to kill yourself with zoloft D
how to kill yourself with Zoloft
How to kill your self

amuse your friends
at the same time throw
large objects at
yourself

Watch Video
about Kill, Yourself,
Death
by Metacafe.com

The last tutorial
you'll ever need-
Don't actually
do it though

things seem so
heavy Yeah I am
seein a therapist
I think it's pretty obvious

you are
n't
going to
kill yourself

do you really wanna kill
yourself?
I mean
I bet you are young

How to KILL yourself WARNING! The topic and the content
are not in anyway meant to stimulate anybody to
commit suicide BUT
I hope it did

-MSD

Quibble #1

2009-02-08T12:59:00.000-08:00

If sex is "the little death"
then is masturbation "the little suicide?"

The Vicious Cycle of Ikea

2009-02-08T07:44:00.000-08:00

Step 1: Buy furniture
i. Look around your apartment and decide what's missing. Allow yourself to sink into the void of material desire.
ii. Commute way out into the middle of nowhere (the only place where you can find Ikea). Spend 10 minutes trying to park despite the ridiculous size of the parking lot.
iii. Enter through the childish blue and yellow doors with an enormous feeling of drive and ambition.
iv. Get lost trying to find the wheels to that chair you liked.
v. Try to find a dresser only to realize that they are all more expensive than your budget will allow for. Settle on a cheap shelving unit of some kind.
vi. Get lost trying to find the faucet for your sink. Decide to have some Swedish meatballs in "the cafe" while you recover your strength.
vii. Forget what you came here for originally and start buying random cheap kitchen supplies whilst telling yourself "But, it's only three dollars."
viii. Finally get to the bottom floor- the end- only it's not the end, it's isle after isle of cardboard boxes containing the things you just finished shopping for. Grunt while loading massive boxes with unknown heavy contents onto unwieldy cart.
ix. End up at the register only to remember that you forgot to get the legs to your coffee table.
x. Sheepishly fork over $500, wondering just what the fuck cost $500 as you only got some book cases, shelves, and some cheapo kitchen crap.

Step 2: Bring Furniture Back to Base.
i. Try to sort cardboard boxes into piles so you know which parts go with each other, only to find later that you've lost (or never grabbed?) that one box with all the nuts and bolts and stuff in it.
ii. Try to screw in thingy with allen wrench only to break allen wrench. Use allen wrench from other package.
iii. Break dowels and/or wind up with "extra" dowels. Wonder where you went wrong.
iv. Swear, curse, and blaspheme the stupid asexual Ikea blob thing who keeps pointing to some hole that doesn't exist but is supposed to apparently have a screw drilled into it. Fucker.
v. Frustrated and exhausted, complete Ikea furniture with min. number of dowels necessary resulting in unwieldy furniture with incomplete appearance. Drink beer and take tylenol until headache subsides using cardboard box as coffee table.

Step 3: Moving Out
i. List Ikea furniture on Craigslist. Note the excellent condition, full assembly and reasonable price.
ii. Wade through responses from lustful thrifters who offer to pay you $10.00 for everything as long as you can deliver. Toss out random anonymous emails received from men in leather chaps offering their BDSM services.
iii. Re-list all items at a mark down of 50%.
iv. Repeat step ii.
v. Finally, agree to sell two bookcases, some shelves and the kitchen supplies to some dude in Martinez for $50.
vi. Feel robbed and depressed. Drink beer and take tylenol until happiness returns.

Step 4: New Apartment!
See Step 1.

We Watery Waves

2009-02-08T07:41:00.000-08:00

We watery waves
sink against your hair,
shoulders, fingernails,
dimpled disfigurements-
We wash the surface
of your stomach,
the rows of goose pimples
protruding from your limbs-
We lick your kicking legs
with liquid grace
and slick sincerity-
Washing away the years
you have ahead
till you are dead.

An Email From Dad

2009-02-08T06:58:00.001-08:00

(Note: unedited, unformulated)

dysfunctional is good
it indicates there is still some response - if it hurts, you're probably still alive
all bodies accounted for - saturday night is it
i'm copying this to everyone so that maybe we'll all know what's going on
but then...there is
the element
you name the restaurant (you copy everyone, too) and we'll all show up like magic
sooner or later
i'll make the reservations and there we go
piece of cake
ok then
part 2
i know where the campus is
but where the hell is the graduation ceremony
you all look alike in those dreary shrouds and funny hats

We are apart

2009-02-01T04:29:00.000-08:00

of everything
that was and
never wept
trees blue
and skies orange
forgetfulness
swans swallowed
in sad gulps-
of fury
reigning
ambivalent-
heap estranged
and
dog-hearted,
the bold choir
announces
the end of the world.

You know?

2009-02-01T04:08:00.001-08:00

He tells me:
you only can do
what you want
when you can
and you can now
so right now
you should,
no really,
because this is
the time when
this great thing
can happen
when this thing
you want to bring
to your life
is available!
you
can have it
right now and
enjoy it-
if you want
it, right now
you have to
take it
make it happen
you know?
you can't worry
or make excuses
you've got to grab it
and have it
no mistakes
or regrets
this is all you have
left.

Lausanne

2009-02-01T03:54:00.000-08:00

is not
the bumbling bundle
of joy you
once knew.
She grew
up and blew up
and is bigger
than you imagined
or hoped
she would be.
She is 30
she drives
a Mercedes
down the
quai where the
old cog
used to go.
But, you know,
she likes the
smell of the
tires against
the pavement.
And that old
cove with
the towering
white swans
that used to
float above
the lake?
She said they
were childish
and replaced them
with chic
French yachts,
and built
restaurants
and hotels
out of all of her
old rooms traded
friends for brides
and grooms
on vacance
from Paris.
She's not careless
but she doesn't care
about heritage-
she traded her
Swiss curls
for straightened
pleats
bought property
by "the beach"
and painted her
home like the ones
in magazines.
She is in the scene
and walks
like she does
and talks
like she does
and lives
like she does
because it's
never enough
to have simple
beauty
simplicity is
too tempting
to complicate
and complications
are never
beautiful
and if she wants
to be
complicated
then you'll
just have to
find
another
Lausanne.

Bastia

2009-02-01T03:36:00.001-08:00

takes long, slow breaths that
heave against her chest expelling
yellow sand and palm trees
cigarettes and bumble bees.

She has nowhere to go but
has never felt that way-
she dances and sways
in a heat-induced haze.

In the evening, she sinks in
the front seat of her car
drives too fast and too far
drinks wine, smokes cigars

and lands in the mid of a dark
discotheque where she sings
loudly and badly to ballads
whose words are drone.

Enraptured by strangers
she flirts with the waiters
and is friends with everyone
by the end of the evening.

Then so long faire la bis
finds herself sans amis
on the beach by the railroad
alone, naked, and old.

Nice

2009-02-01T03:27:00.001-08:00

A budding throng of blue
and white beach umbrellas
above breath-taking bronzed
bodies balancing breasts.
It is a test of how nice
you can be in a place called
Nice.
It is not Paris but full of
Parisians and people who
wish they were but don't
have the time or fame,
are running on deux
cafe a and enough change
to flaunt it
if they want it
over stones hard and grey
like themselves
over quais
that are complique
full of strangers trying to
get past too fast
over bateaux and skin
that glows slick with
sunscreen in the heat-
the city streets
narrow labyrinths
budding
with closed antique shutters
shuddering quand tu dis
mer-ci.

Scriblette

2009-01-31T07:27:00.000-08:00

Speak the erratic nature
of an absent mind
lines bend and break
quake ferociously
nether a shattered
grip, dripped ink
in rhythmic rows.

Consistent since
pre-pubescence,
the essence of my
disturbance
forces turbulence
and words meant to soar
are sorely shaken,
sink and rise, subside
and cease.

I am at peace
with their infant form
their path the norm
of the most talented
four year old.

And I am inseparable
from their honesty
vulnerability
rage to be
written on a page
at a rapid pace
endlessly spilling,
shedding, forgetting,
everything they supposed to were
ever being what they are.

Making Goodbyes in Erkner

2009-01-01T13:39:00.000-08:00

End of the line.
Rust encrusted vines
and stones thrown
heavy against
steel tracks and trains
that fade in and out
of this place
past
red brick warehouses
once the gurgling belies of
socialist industry
now--through half-smashed
window panes, chipped
neon graffiti veins, over
an explosion of
distressed furniture--
reveal more recent
punk rock purposes.
And surrounding these
are bodies of trees
that scream of
starvation-
crumpled leaves
infesting the sidewalk like
brown skeleton beetles
trampling over each other
in a zombie march.
An empty market hall,
bowling alley,
and rows of modest
working men's homes
lay submissively under
a passive sky.
Their inhabitants
slow and bloated from a diet
of microwaved wurst
and withered radishes.
Every time I come here
I'm afraid I will
become this place-
some day
get swallowed by the dull
morning numbness,
the plain, joyless
homeliness, the age,
the displacement
and inevitable death.
On the platform
I shudder,
frightened
I wonder
what white might become of me
should the train fail to come for me.